How do you be the not weak, not in control, helper?

When God made Adam & Eve, He made Eve to be Adam’s helper. God made Eve NOT because Adam was incapable, NOT so Adam could boss her around, but so that Adam could have a companion. Adam and Eve had distinct roles, to compliment each other. Adam was the head of the household- the breadwinner, the big decision maker, the leader. Eve was the supporter, the follower, the companion. Maybe if they were rock climbing, Eve would be the legs and Adam would be the arms. Anyway, I was thinking about some things while I was reading this morning and it dawned on me that I have not seen many examples of truly healthy and biblical relationships/marriages. There are many things that I am look forward to when it comes to marriage, to have a partner in crime, to have sex, to make a family, to raise a family, and to have someone to permanently do life with: grow, learn and experience. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I know what my role as a wife should be and what I want it to be; but I am not sure that I know how to be a helper. Sure, I can help by offering advice, by telling him when he is not doing things right, I can even encourage and support decisions that are made. But what about when he has a word of correction for me? Or when he needs to tell me I am trying to hard? Or when he realizes something I have known for year? How can I be the helper then? Maybe for someone out there this is obvious; then please share your insight. Every relationship, practically, that I have been involved in – I was the leader. I was making important decisions for our lives, I was laying down the rules, I was making the boundaries, I was initiating Bible time/talk, and I was the one providing. And yet I was still giving into human desires. Looking back, it’s like I was totally okay with living outside of God’s best intentions for relationships. I was either in control or being controlled – often time simultaneously. No wonder I am a basket case lol But here I am now, in a place of moving forward, of recognizing that the way I have tended to do things is not the best way for me to do them at all…….not even a little bit….. So, hooray for me, I have recognized a destructive pattern; now what? I know what my tendency is – to sabotage. To unintentionally find ways that allow me to kind of listen to God’s best for me. To avoid situations where I should be the helper, to have everything together so that I don’t need to hear correction, to let him do everything, to find a way to always have one up. Hmm….sounds like a lot of pride to bust thru, but where do I even begin? I know that marriage is in my future, and I don’t want it to look like so many of the marriages I have seen. Daddy, soften my heart, open my eyes, show me the roots to remove so that I can (one day) be the loving helper wife that you desire for me to be. Let me hear words of correction in love, let me rejoice when my future husband rejoices, and support him rather than dictate him when he mourns. Holy Spirit come and begin to move in me, your presence is welcome here. In Jesus name, Amen.