fear

I think I have finally found a church, that has a young adults ministry I can be a part of. Sunday actually strarted off crappy. I didn't want to get out of bed - I had a hard time sleeping. I was supposed to get up at 7, go to a service at 8, and go to another church at 11 but I didn't get out of bed til 10. I barely made it out the door by 10:3o and I was cranky, all I wanted to do was sleep. But I get in my car, turn on my gps and start going to this church. Half way there my gps craps out!! I swear it said I had 2 miles left on a particular road, and then it said I passed my turn. Fine I make a U turn to find it, but it wasn't there. I started yelling at my gps and it re-routed me. It took me in the largest round about circle ever. I was 5 maybe even 10 minutes late as I pull into the parking lot. Like many churches I've atteneded this place is HUGE!! I'm directed in a place to park and then walk into the church - I think i was atleast 15 minutes late. I hate being late to church. I had missed most of the music worship :( Agitated I sit down in a seat, look around and realize this place is like a stinking auditorium and think to myself "great another place to be just a number". I then look straight ahead, up on the massive stage and see a statue of sorts. It's about - 10 feet tall. And it's the word "FEAR". I laugh, probably out loud, and people probably thought I had a few screws loose. But there it is, this statue, of the word "fear". The only word, mind you, that i haven't been able to get out of my head for the last couple weeks. I believe i wrote about it a few days ago. So I dismiss it - whatever, it's just a word. Well guess what the message was about?? Fear. And guess what the next 6 weeks worth of messages are going to be about?? Fear.
I begin to think that maybe there's something to this theme. As the pastor was talking, to an almost full auditorium (with 2 levels of seating) I suddenly don't feel like a number. He talks to the entire crowd as if he knows us (not them but us). I get this sense that he makes an effort to be more than just the man on the stage, preaching. His preaching reminds me of Jimmy, from california - I smile. The sing "unchanging" and I hear Tiago's voice singing along with them - my heart warms up. The service comes to a close, and the Pastor invites anyone that is new to the church to come meet him in the guest area. I think to myself "are you serious?". He was. i went to the guest area, and a wonderful lady met me at the table, and gave me a lil bag of goodies. The pastor is there to say hello, shake my hand, and give me a book. Ohh ya, guess what the book was about?? You got it - Fear- 40 days of reflections about fear and how to be fearless. At this point, I don't think God could have spoken anymore clearly.

So during the service, he spoke of the fear of commitment. I think I'll write another post about it this week. But what hit me the most was this: when we think we fear commitment, we need to remember how committed God already is to us. So that our security should come from no other place. THe pastor said, that's the thing that allows him to risk building new friendships with people he meets. And to work on being committed to being committed.