Things that start with G

GOD you are GOOD and GRACIOUS, abounding with GRACE!

This weekend was amazing! Saturday was spent up on 130 acres of open land - working hard and enjoying the beautiful landscape, enjoying GOd's creation!! As I awoke on sunday morning, I wanted to keep this positive awesome feeling alive inside of me. I also knew that I needed to hear from God, that I needed to experience something new and something heart shattering on Sunday morning. As I drove to pick up Rob, I began to pray. I prayed that I would not be cranky if we were running late. I prayed that God would break through my heart, that I would find strength and hope from whatever message Scott was going to be delivering that morning. I prayed to be released from chains and bondage that had been holding me down. All twenty minutes I prayed, and that alone made me feel rejuvenated.
Now, I love Scott's preaching but this Sunday, I could have left after the first three songs and still have had an amazingly powerful morning. I was nearly brought to tears, as I could feel each set of lyrics piercing my heart, in a way that only musical worship can do. I felt small releases, small convictions, small changes occuring and lifting up from me. I wish I could remember the name of the first two songs that we sang, they were so powerful. And then came the true kicker - It is well with my soul - I think I was crying as I was singing. It hurt to sing such a powerful song, and to realize that as things have been going on around me - it has NOT been well with my soul. It was like listening to my heart cry, my heart long for that to be true of me, and it was like feel God press HIS hand down on me, reminding me that there is NO reason for it NOT to be well with my soul.
Scott's message offered hope and strength was well, as he talked about the day when heaven meets earth and the beautiful experience that it is all going to be!! The reminder that there is something sooo much greater to look forward to. That this life is for us to help bring justice and healing and love to those around us - and that will never ever be a painless experience, but when we are doing things in Jesus' name that He will provide all we need and strengthen us to complete and overcome what needs completing and overcoming.
So - practically, what did this mean for me? How did this help me with all the questions and doubts that I have been having.
Well, it did remind me how much i have let satan have control in areas where he should not even be. It reminded me that my morning reading/devotionals have not been happening like they should and realizing how much better life is when I put God first!! I realized that the job I have is indeed helping to restore justice and healing and love to children who need it, even if i am not living with them. I realized that though I do miss my boys terribly, that I am just not supposed to be living there right now - I don't know why - I just received a peace that I am not supposed to be there. I know that I am still supposed to be with Rob and that we still have many things to sort out and grow in but thnx be to God that we have people who have surrounded us in love and in prayer and are helping us as we go!
In having my Monday - Friday job I have been able to connect with my dad by going to the farm. I have been able to invite my parents to church with me and they actually went, both of them, on easter sunday!! I have been allowed to be outside of the mooseheart bubble, and actually be me and have fun!!
I realized later on sunday that I thrive on being in positions of what some may call control. I think back on when I was large group coordinator for InterVaristy and how alive it made me feel and how well I did at the position. I think about all the work I did at UBC in macomb, and though at times it was frustrating, it really drove me. I am not sure how God is going to use that skill in my life at the present time, but I look forward to the day when I have something like that again.

GOD is GROWING me and I will GLADLY follow as I know that He is GRACIOUS and GRACE filled :)