Pine Tree

Today I feel like a pine tree. Ya, a pine tree. It’s been a whirl wind of a few months, maybe I will write about that later; however, this morning I just felt blah. I didn’t want to get out of bed and frankly nothing seemed to be important. After talking with this pretty awesome lady, I started to think of a pine tree. Have you ever gone to cut down a pine tree? Or bought a live one for the winter holidays?? If you have you may have seen this awesome device that shakes and nets the tree. Once you cut the tree down and drag it to the car some of the needles that were loose begin to fall off. Well when you get it to the netting station they put it on this thing, a big circular device, and they turn it on while they hold the stem. This allows the tree to really be shaken. While it is being shaken the dead needles and branches that were stuck on the inside begin to fall out. With the tree in its best shape it is then thrown through a netter and hoisted up on the car for you to take home and decorate. So why do I feel like a pine tree today? Well, because I feel like I’m on that big circle device being shaken like crazy to get all the dead stuff out. It’s like I’m carrying around all this extra weight that isn’t even mine to touch, let alone hold onto. And I know that it isn’t mine, but for some reason I keep reaching down to pick it up and carry it along my journey. Then today, for whatever reason today, the shaking has begun. I mean it knew stuff was there, but today if felt like God really went to take it away from me and instead of surrendering it to Him, I clung onto it. Like when you are a kid and your favorite toy is destroyed and instead of letting your parents fix it or get you a new one, you insist on playing with a broken toy that no longer works? It’s like that. I keep insisting on being surrounded with brokenness but God is there, reminding me that Jesus took care of that on the cross, and reaching out to give me wholeness; but for some reason I’m a little afraid. So ya, today, I am that pine tree being shaken. Why won’t I just let go? I’m not sure. Pride. Pain. Fear. A feeling of responsibility that is not mine. There are so many burdens that I have released to Him over the last 8 years…..please pray that I don’t stop now. That I let Him shake the dead out of me, literally.