Saturday, February 11, 2012

Loving From A Distance

This past week has presented me with a bit of a perplexing issue; at least in regards to love and the misconceptions that we have created about what it means to love. At a societal level, I think we have convinced ourselves that loving is not strong, that to love everyone makes a person a doormat to be continuously used, or that the person has no discernment.
If we look at the life of Jesus, because, well that is the life that we are given as an example to live by, we see love. We see a man who gave up his heavenly position to come down to earth to serve a people who were going to reject him anyway. We also see Jesus executing discernment on where he spoke and who he hung out with. There are very few accounts of Jesus actually spending time in synagogues (only twice I believe) or of him spending time with the Pharisees. Now, don’t get a head of me. However, Jesus still does have a handful of conversations with the Pharisees, when they approach him with questions. Also, when Jesus was in those places or having conversations with the Pharisees, he was acting and speaking out of love. Now, I am going to make an assumption here, based on my own thoughts and insights. I believe that Jesus did not spend all of his time in those situations for a few reasons: he was counter cultural, he was not worried about legalism/rules, and because he knew those situations would not be healthy or beneficial to his life and his ministry.
Now, of course I cannot enter into Jesus’ mind and verify his thoughts BUT it seems to make sense. Jesus knew that the Pharisees wanted an argument, they wanted to try and ruffle his feathers, they wanted to disgrace him, and Jesus knew that they eventually wanted to kill him. So, why in the world would he have wanted to spend time with people who had those types of intentions? Yet, Jesus still loved them, still taught them, still spoke to them with the same tone and intensity which he spoke to his disciples. To me, this is Jesus exercising discernment by acknowledging that there were situations that were not beneficial for him to be involved in, in order for Him to expand his life and teachings.
If Jesus, the son of God had situations/people in his life that were not healthy for him to be a part of, how much more do we have those situations in our life? There will inevitably be people whose intention is to harm us – mentally, physically or emotionally – and once we have felt their intention it is unwise of us to be a part of that situation. That does not mean we need to slander that person’s name, seek revenge, or do anything else that would dishonor that person; but it might mean that physical distance needs to be placed between you and that person. And the great thing about prayer is that we don’t have to be with that person to be able to pray for them.
It can seem like a tricky line but it is not a weak decision. It takes a lot of strength to love in this manner. I think it is super important for us to identify situations that are unhealthy in our lives and listen to what your “gut” feeling is about them. So often that feeling is the Holy Spirit guiding you, take it to God and don’t be surprised if He asks you to love someone from a distance.

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