memories and anger

The last few days have been flooded with memories, yet again, from past relationships. At first it made me angry, like, why can't I just let go of this, why are they continuing to remind me of all the mistakes I've made. Then in being angry at my memories I just got angry in general. I shut down, I didn't really want to talk to anyone, I wanted to just curl up and sleep - not because i was tired, but just because I didn't want to deal with people.
But ya know, it's funny what happens when we allow God to meet us where we are at. Even on days when prayer is too hard, when i can't find the words to say, I'm thankful for books. I picked up Self Talk, Soul Talk by Jennifer ROthschild and started to read today, about memories - go stinking figure. She talked about how our memories, though some of them may be painful, can bring us great joy. Memories of past hurts and trying times can remind us of how God carried us through them, and what we learned from them. While I'm not sure if that's why my memories surfaced this week, I know that I can transform them into that. I can pull out the positive, good things that came from all the broken relationships. And I can be remembered that God still protected me from pregnancies, diseases, drug addictions and much more. And through these relationship I've really been able to learn what I want and should expect out of a biblical relationship. I've experienced, first hand, what the warning signs are, and that will also allow me to share them with other people. But like so many other things in life, it's what ya make them.
Then as I was reading, I saw my bookmark - a piece of notebook paper that I had written some quotes on from the previous chapter. Things like this from Louis L'Amour "Anger is a killing thing. IT kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had before - it takes something from him". Or Marcus Aurelius "How much more grievous are the consequences of anger, than the causes of it". Or, this one, this one stings that she wrote "Ask God to help you embrace what you can't avoid, accept what you don't like and channel your passion into wise responses.
So, now here I sit, in my favorite coffee shop: having gone from not knowing how to pray to having more than I can fathom to pray about.