Perfect Secrets

Last week I was reading in my Healing for Damaged Emotions book and the author brought up a saying from alcoholic anonymous "You're only as sick as your secrets". And some thoughts started to flow in my brain and I dismissed them, but as only God can make them do they continued throughout the week. It's interesting, my secrets are no longer actions -and I thought that I didn't have any secrets left but I was wrong.

My secrets are that I'm overly critical, judgmental and continually analyzing the people around me and the way they live their lives. And I'm arrogant. It's easy to have secret thought processes and not have anyone be the wise because they are my thought processes but as this idea has been brought to the forefront this week I have seen how my secrets are affecting the relationships around me.

So often I have found myself thinking "I know that I do bad things but atleast I don't -...." or "How can she call herself a Christian when she does X, Y and Z". Or I've sat their and analyzed the amount of work my coworkers get done and wondered why they can't get more done. But instead of asking them about their work habits or offering to help them, I seem to just look down on them and think of them as inferior to me. Hence the arrogance comes into play. Which I find odd because I think that in general I come across as humble. But in my head I am continually telling myself that my ideas are best, and that I can do it better, and that they don't know what they are talking about.

So now what?? It's so much harder to be accountable for my thoughts because they are in my head and they can stay in my head for as long as I would like them to. But it's not okay to continue those thought patterns. They are affecting my relationships with people and ultimately my relationship with God. How do I begin to surrender these types of thoughts??